Beach Kuchi Kaiai

Facebook Killed The Blogger Star

2010-08-25T13:29:00.002-04:00

So my lack of posts has continued to be painfully obvious. Not only did I fail to follow-up with my NYC trip details, but I have since been to Chicago for my Homecoming Part 2.

And quite honestly I have no interest in posting anything about them. My desire to meet new people and keep my friends updated with my life has remained important. However, I have discovered that Facebook has become the preferred outlet for these sorts of things. The rise of Facebook has essentially killed all drive to maintain this blog. I might return to blogging should Facebook fail me but for now I am taking a hiatus.

Facebook has many advantages over blogging....it's faster, user friendly and more anonymous....well, what I mean is that only my friends (and trust me, I am not one of those freaks on Facebook with 4000 "friends) can see my Facebook page. The Blog is open to everyone and I no longer desire that sort of audience. Since moving to Florida my life has changed drastically. I am by no means a hermit, afraid to leave his house. I have been enjoying all that Southern Florida has to offer, but I have learned from some of the mistakes I made in Chicago and I have made sure not repeat them here. As a result, I have a very low profile here in Florida, where in Chicago I was a bit of a gay socialite. In fact, I was probably too "popular" for my own good in Chicago. Even in a city that big I made a reputation for myself as being a "fun" boy. Well, once you have that sort of "fun" reputation it is nealry impossible to escape it no matter how hard you decide you don't want to be "fun" anymore and would actually want to finally settle down and find some sort of meaningful relationship. My two previous visits to Chicago have made this painfully obvious. My friends have either made comments that suggest they believe I am still living the wild life I had in CHicago, or I have run into old "buddies" who thought we were going to just pick up where we left off 9 months ago. Um....no.

So Florida has been a time for settling down. No more friends with benefits, no more excessive "fun", no more weekend after weekend of binge drinking. It isn't easy finding other people who share this same perspective on life but I am a patient guy and I would rather be alone for the time being than disrepect myself by going against what I currently believe in. I am glad I had so much "fun" in Chicago but it's a different place and time for me now.

Goodbye bloggerland! I will see you on Facebook!

Cuidáte mucho! :(

2010-07-21T17:05:00.002-04:00

Well July has turned into another crazy and busy month. I will post more information about my recent trip to NYC and a day with the boys in South Beach but right now I am writing because I just found out that a friend of mine who I had met a few months ago was just deported.

I don't understant the immigration laws in this country because I am not an immigrant. I still don't completely understand the circumstances surrounding his deportation but nevertheless he was the first guy I have met in Florida that I felt any sort of attraction to. We spent a ridiculous amount of time together considering most of the other guys i had met never made it past the first date. I still have his toothbrush in my bathroom for when he used to stay the night. I don't want to throw it away :(

Honestly, I doubt anything meaningful would have come from our brief time together. Too much (apparently!) was going on in this boy's life. Nevertheless meeting him reminded me that I am not completly bitter and cold. I am very much capable of being affectionate and have some sort of romance in my life. Ironically, I think this is also a sign that I need to stop rushing my love life. In fact, now that there is definite closure with this situation, I am deciding to stay away from dating and men altogether. It may sound silly or rather extreme but quite honestly, the added free time in my schedule can be used to do more productive activities. I don't know when I will be ready to venture back in the dating world but right now I am very content with being alone.

I don't feel sorry for myself. I do feel sorry for my friend. Granted he was here illegally, it must be hard to be ripped from a life you have created and be forced to leave your family and friends. My one consolation is that he has a very big family back home that will be able to help him....and who knows, maybe one day he will come back. Nevertheless, I wish him the best!

Different

2010-07-11T16:24:00.002-04:00

I think I am finally accepting the fact that things are simply DIFFERENT here in Florida than Chicago. Life is just different. People are different. Culture is different. The climate is different. The differences aren't good or bad. I think I have been trying to hard to determine which differences were positive and which were negative and which were neutral. Basically I have been over analyzing everything as I normally do when the easiest answer to my questions is that life is different for me than it was one year ago. That's all. Just different. And luckily I seem to be adapting quite well to my different surroundings.

Dating remains to be a difficult task.....or should I say different? Nah! Gay men are fucked up no matter where you go! LOL. Well, one thing that is different is that I am not only single but I have no friends-with-benefits or anyone I could even consider calling for a booty call....and definitely no one to actually date! I would say that I am lonely in that sense but I think loneliness is more of a state of mind. People can be married for 20 years and feel lonely. I am very content.....even if I am living like a celibate nun. If anything I am very proud to say that I don't feel the least bit desperate. I have met a handful of losers down here already and even though it would have been easy to put up with their shit just to say I am in a relationship, I didn't see the point. I guess I still have too much self-respect. Thank god that is one thing that isn't "different"!

The past week has been challenging at work as I picked up 5 days on the night shift. I have learned two things by doing this.

1. I could never do night shift full time.
2. I am turning into a kick-ass pharmacist after being out of school only 10 months.

So I feel good. Yes I do! And this is a song (Annagrace formerly known as Ian Van Dahl) that is making me feel good lately (along with many others but I shall dedicate a post to music another day).....

Love keeps calling my heart indeed...but where is it taking me?

Mr. Independent

2010-07-04T21:28:00.002-04:00

Today has been the crummiest Fourth of July. It has not stopped raining since I woke up. I gotten so spoiled buy the non-stop sunshine that when I finally experience a day of nothing but gloom and rain it is quite depressing! Fortunately the rest of the weekend was not as depressing. I had two good nights out in Fort Lauderdale with new friends. I also caught up on sleep and housework. A co-worker of mine invited me over for dinner too. It was quite lovely!

The upcoming week promises to either be a refreshing change of pace or a complete nightmare. I somehow let myself get talked into working the night shift (9pm to 7:30am) starting this Wednesday for a 5 day stretch. Hmmmmm.....I have never really done third shift for several days in a row. I am hoping my sleep schedule doesn't get thrown out of whack. Because of this slight change of plans I have also decided to postpone yet again my search for a 2nd job. I suppose with an upcoming trip to NYC and another trip to Chicago in August, now isn't a good time anyways.

As for the title of my post, obviously it has to do with the holiday. More importantly though, I am coming to the realization that the changes I so desperately wanted to make in my life after leaving Chicago didn't depend on anyone else but myself. I have recently found myself looking to others to find my way down here in Florida. This is completely out of character for me and I had to remind myself today that my happiness depends on me, myself and I. Placing my future in the hands of anyone else is always a mistake. So having said that, Mr. Independent is going to go out and do some socializing this rainy Sunday night to celebrate the USA's birthday!

And the beat goes on....

2010-06-27T15:50:00.003-04:00

Well I am not one to give up easily and despite my recent hiatus I am going to give a stab at this blogging stuff one more time! So it has been 7 months now for me in South Florida. I finally feel adjusted but there are many things I need to work on and accomplish. I feel at "home" but I know I will be more enthusiastic about my home once I get things rolling. I tend to be an impatient person at times but I need to keep reminding myself that I have made alot of progresss in the past 7 months. The over-acheiver in me needs to stop whining. LOL

Since I last left the blogspot, I was excited to be starting a casual pharmacy job in a small neighborhood retail pharmacy. Well, those plans fell kind of flat. To make a long story short, the owner of the pharmacy kept running into problems with the grand opening of the store......until finally she lost her DEA license due to an ongoing investigation at her other pharmacies. The DEA is the government agency that deal with scheduled drugs (morphine, Vicodin, Percocet, Xanax, Ambien). Basically, all the stuff that people are likely to abuse. I don't know the details of the investigation but despite the fact I am very disapointed this didn't work out, iam relieved my name and professional license never got involved with this mess!

So being the resourceful new pharmacist that I am, I began looking elsewhere for the ideal side job. Unfortunately most positions I was coming across were full time or were not interested in hiring a new graduate. Luckily I have another degree to fall back on and I took the appropriate measures to become a licensed Clinical Laboratory Technologist in Florida! The pay certainly isn't as good as a pharmacist salary BUT, it's nothing to complain about either! I just received my license in the mail the other day and will begin looking around for a casual position in the area next week. I imagine that with my experience and general shortage of laboratory professionals, I shouldn't have a problem.

Well, I am temporarily giving up on the boyfriend search. I quickly learned that even though I am officially ready to seriously date that doesn't necessarily mean there are any eligible bachelors around! I couldn't even begin to talk about some of the psychopaths I have met down here but lets just say I am hanging up the towel for the time being. No more online chatting and less time at the gay bars will be on my agenda for the rest of the year!

My search for a side pharmacist job hasn't been fruitful but as far as my full time position as a clinical-staff hospital pharmacist......WOW! Amazing! Never in my life have I had a job that I loved so much. Even when I have to wake up at 4:30am on my early shift days, I never dread going to work. I have quickly gained the respect and trust of my colleagues and management. I still need to increase my knowledge base but I couldn't have made a better career decision than to accept this job offer last Fall.

In my free time I continue to go crazy at LA Fitness and find time for my private spanish lessons. Thanks to my tutor, I have been introduced to the literature of Paulo Coelho and I absolutely love it! As far as fun goes....I am still trying to find my favorite hangouts in South Florida. Apart from Florida I have done some traveling. In May I made trips to both Cancun and Chicago...Chicago being the more notorious of the two trips because of all the alcohol, those "cookies" I accidentally ate and more importantly, complete confirmation that I made the right choice to leave when I did. I was happy to see many people....a little sad to not be able to see others and somewhat disgusted by the people who claimed they didn't wantto see me leave and made such a big deal about getting together during my visit yet never returned my phone calls.....things that make you go mmmmm! nevertheless my trip to Chicago was the ultimate "Milwaukee Sister" reunion!

Immediately after all my trips I had some exciting business to take care of in Miami......back to back special events/concerts by Fangoria and Paulina Rubio (and friends)!!!!! The Fangoria concert was actually an intimate appearance in an art gallery in downtown Miami. The art show was a collection of album cover artwork from Latin America over the past 30 years. Fangoria gave an amazing show that really benefited from the chic environment of the venue.

The Paulina Rubio concert was a VIP event televised by Telemundo courtesy of one of the fiercest lesbians I know from Chicago....Janet! The event was a fundraiser and featured a pregnant Paulina Rubio singing alone and long side some of the biggest names in Latin pop music. I was in heaven! Especially considering I had a VIP service just feet from the stage with dinner and wine. I also got to witness the red carpet event immediately preceeding the concert!

And last but not least......the beach! The one thing I can't get enough of down here (well, as long as I got SPF 50 sunscreen) is the pool and the beach. My favorite beach so far is the Ft Lauderdale one. It's a 35 minute drive from my house but totally worth it for the hot gay boys!

Picking Up The Pieces of a Broken Blog

2010-06-16T17:07:00.003-04:00

As you can see, my updates have become increasingly scarce over the past two months. I think this can be attributed to several factors:

1. I don't spend that much time online anymore.
2. I don't have anything too interesting to say that I haven't already said on Facebook.
3. With Twitter and Facebook, I believe people are more likely to keep up with me that way and vice versa as opposed to a blog.

Nevertheless, I have enjoyed blogging and have found it to be an excellent outlet for my stress and frustration in life.....which leads me to the conclude that perhaps I am not as stressed and frustrated as I used to be. Whatever the issue is, I have decided to take a few more days to decide the direction I am going to take this blog.....or if I will give up blogging for good. We'll see......

Rise of the 90's

2010-04-28T17:42:00.003-04:00

The 90's seem to be coming back in full force. On TV we have seen remakes of Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place. Musically there has been a sudden renewed interested in dance-pop that reminds me of the early 90's when club friendly songs easily crossed over to the mainstream (Blackbox, Technotronic, Real Mccoy, La Bouche, etc). Well, it seems the great RnB artists of the 90's are also coming back in a big way......although some technically never were gone. Usher has been around since 1994 and while his last album didn't live up to expectations, his most recent offering, "Raymond V Raymond" offers some of his best songs in years (There Goes My Baby) while he still keeps up with the electro craze on songs like "OMG". Even Mary J Blige has re-recorded extra songs the UK edition of her album to capitalize on the recent dance music trend.

However, the biggest surprise is Toni Braxton! Not only is she looking fierce lately but her recent singles have been stunning. I haven't looked forward to a Toni Braxton album since 1996's "Secrets"1 I was equally shocked to find out the first single "Yesterday" reached #12 on the RnB charts. Granted it never graced the regular Hot 100 but when you consider Toni was just a few years ago with no record contract and performing shows at a 2 star hotel in Las Vegas this is absolutely amazing, The song is beautiful. Toni sounds great and she doesn't seem to be trying too hard to keep up with the girls half her age as she has done on her past flop albums. Another surprise is the album's 2nd uptempo single, "Make My Heart". Both songs have gotten extensive club remixes but "Make My Heart" is a floor stomper in it's own right. Toni has always been known for her ballads so to see her get funky like this is shocking!

Perhaps there is still hope for the likes of Brandy! :)

Reading Rainbow

2010-04-09T16:54:00.003-04:00

April is really bringing the heat! The temperatures are now consistently in the 80's and 70's and it's only going to get warmer. I love it! I still can't believe how COLD so many buildings and businesses keep the air conditioning. I have no need for AC until the temperature is well into the 90's. So for now I am very content and comfy. I even finally had a chance to go down to the pool. Well, actually I just laid out and did a little reading but I will actually take a dip in the pool soon. Nevertheless the pool area in my complex absolutely beatiful!

As for everything else....I have done a little partying but nothing to get too excited about. I am planning a big night in Miami tomorrow but I think I will be staying in tonight. I have a three day weekend and really just want to use one of the days to relax. I recently landed a second part time pharmacist job but I haven't started yet. I am sure once things are in full swing it will be difficult for me to have days to just do nothing....like today! Of course I haven't been completely unproductive. I did something today that I haven't done in over 20 years.......I got a library card!

The downtown West Palm Beach library is just a few blocks from my house and as I was walking back from Jimmy John's today I had the most random urge to get a library card! I am slightly embarrassed that I never had a library while I was in Chicago. I guess I always used the library at school so I never needed to go to a public library. I haven't checked anything out yet but the interior actually looks quite nice! I will have to do some library exploring another day....because now I need to get some more food!

Ricky Martin....gay!

2010-03-29T23:33:00.002-04:00

So the big celebrity gossip of the week is Ricky Martin's official announcement that he is a homosexual. This is about as shocking as when it was announced the sky is blue. While I think it is unfortunate that Ricky didn't come out sooner, I don't think anyone should criticize the delay. Coming out is not an easy process for any gay man and I can only imagine how difficult it is for an entertainer that is surrounded by management and record companies that pressure artists to conform to whatever will make the most money for them......and in the 90's when Ricky was taking off as a solo artist being openly gay would not have jived with the Latin American record buying public.

I have always adored Ricky. Sure, he is super sexy but for me it has always been his voice. Before "Livin La Vida Loca" Ricky had already established himself as an international recording artist with 15 million albums sold world wide. After his big crossover success he continued to release hit albums, including his MTV Unplugged album. That album will forever be my favorite Ricky album because it really strips away all of the fancy production that often dominated his music and left us simply with his amazing voice. So instead of celebrating Ricky's gayness, let's celebrate his fabulous and fierce contributions to the music industry! These are my Top 5!

1. She Bangs - Granted this may be one of his cheesiest songs and I suspect even Ricky hates it now considering it was omitted from his 2008 greatest hits collection, i absolutely ADORE it. It was fun and catchy. The video was sexy and if you look closely you can see the guy back up dancers fondling Ricky. HOT!

2. Juramento - What's hotter than Ricky Martin? A couple hundred Ricky Martin's in the desert! This was from his "Almas Del Silencio" album that proved Ricky could have an international hit once again in Spanish.

3. Que Dia Es Hoy - Early 90's Ricky was a bit tragic but you got to love his take on Laura Branigan's "Self Control" with its cheesy 90's remix!

4. Drop It On Me - This was the third cancelled single from the floptastic "Life" album. The album was a very misguided attempt to update Ricky's sound but nevertheless I LOVED this song!

5. Dejate Llevar - Also from his "Life" album, it was the Spanish version of this song that proved to be successful along with the sexually charged video. I still listen to this one on a regular basis at the gym!

Ok, so I have to pick one more....."Tu Recuerdo" from the MTV Unplugged album and his most recent #1 single. Ricky at his finest!

Health Care Reform

2010-03-23T18:52:00.002-04:00

As a health care professional in the United States I am not sure exactly what my opinion is about Obama's new health care bill. Like everyone I am very confused by how it will work and what the ramifications will be for people like myself and for the average citizen who simply wants to receive quality healthcare at an affordable price. The bill went through so many changes and at 2000 pages long I don't think I am going to read it anytime soon. However, I am thoroughly disgusted by the people who are against it because of increases in taxes and/or the harm it will supposedly to the nation's debt. Where were all of these people when the nation decided to fund the needless war on terror? Invading Iraq still remains one of the greatest mysteries to the general public. The Iraqui goverment had nothing to do with 9/11 nor did we ever find evidence of weapons of mass destruction. Yet our former President forged us into further debt by spending billions on a war that really has turned into an absolute mess. Personally, I would rather see lawmakers gamble with the national budget by providing health care for millions of people who can't afford it. Whether the health care system is going to crumble because of poor care under this bill is pure speculation but from what I understand this isn't a national health plan like Canada so maybe everyone needs to calm down and just wait and see.

Return of the Sun

2010-03-20T20:59:00.003-04:00

I honestly think this has been the longest gap between blog posts since I started blogging in 2005. I don't know if that means I am busy actually accomplishing stuff now or if I simply had more interesting things to talk about years ago. Who knows! Nevertheless I have been quite the Southern Florida socialite since I last checked in. That doesn't mean however that I haven't been working on some of my goals for 2010. The picture above has nothing to do with my recent accomplishments but I don't think there is anything wrong with starting out with a little eye candy thanks to soccer super star Christiano Ronaldo and his recent Armani campaign ads.

I officially hired a private tutor to help me finer tune my spanish speaking and reading abilities. She is an absolutely lovely woman from Peru and has already helped me expand my vocabulary to a great extent. I already consider myself bilingual but I definitely think there is room for improvement and she has taken a very unique approach to help me develop my conversational abilities to another level. I meet with her once or twice a week and we discuss a particular book that the both of us are readin (in spanish). I guess it's almost like a private spanish book club! lol. I benefit not only by improving my spanish but by also being introduced to some new and interesting literature. I highly recommend these too. One is fiction and another is non-fiction but I think both books compliment each other beautifully.

The papi underwear brand has continued to drain my pockets. How such a perfect underwear could exist simply boggles my mind. Since I already have dedicated a post this this line of under garments, I will only say that the new platinum line and jock straps are rocking my world at work, the clubs, and the gym. The advertising alone is enough to keep me on my low carb diet. Ay papi!

Speaking of hot men and partying, I finally attended the official Miami Beach Winter Party as a local instead of a tourist this past month. Thanks to my Miami Fairy Godmother I was able to get VIP entrance to all the big parties. The beach party was my favorite and I had a chance to hang out with new friends and meet even more new people....not to mention run into a slew of old freinds and acquaintances from Chicago. Some of them didn't even have any idea that I was now living down here. Oh but let me say there was a 6'3 200lb BEEFARONI Cuban bartender that had everyone wanting to go back for more drinks. The picture below doesn't do him justice. I was mesmerized!

My time has also been spent partying it up in Fort Lauderdale. My intial impression of that city was that it was nothing but 50 year old leather daddies but my two new "sisters" have helped me discover the good side of Ft Lauderdale night life. I love these boys!

And while Winter Party had me running into some old Chicago peeps, one of my former co-workers took the time to take me out for my 31st birthday lunch! She was one of the few sane ones at my previous job in Chicago. Such a fun woman! Other than that and a quiet dinner with a friend (well, maybe not that quiet considering there was a St. Patrick Day festival going on) my birthday was very uneventful this year. Either I am not adjusting well to my "Dirty Thirties" or I simply had too much on my plate to plan an appropriate outing. However, I suspect it was due to the latter. :)

This past month has not all been partying. I think I finally found the perfect part-time job at a brand new independently owned neighborhood pharmacy. Ironically I found this job on craigslist! Who knew? I was hesitant to accept the position because the own wants me to work more hours than I originally planned but this offer is simply to good to pass up. The owner is fierce and the location is only 25 minutes from my house. Not to mention, the money is going to be often. By the end of the year I can finally rid myself of the credit card debt I accumulated as a student AND gain some great experience outside of a hospital environment. Speaking of which, my hospital job continunes to be amazing. I truly feel blessed. My co-workers are absolutely amazing and I feel like I am actually making friends. It's so funny how things work out. Never did I imagine I would find myself one day in West Palm Beach but here I am and I am liking it more and more each day. My free time is going to be limited with the new job but when I enjoy being at work so much that doesn't seem like such a bad thing.

So the past month has been very fruitful and I am looking forward to more! Before I end this post I must say that i am REJOICING that the queen of "Rocktronica", Jes has returned with a sophomore album even more fierce than her 2007 debut "Disconnect". Her rendition of the Cure's "Lovesong" is brilliant!

Kick Her With Your Louboutins

2010-02-28T22:31:00.003-05:00

People just love to kick someone when they are down and since it was announced a few days ago that Jennifer Lopez had "amicably" departed ways with Sony Records (DROPPED ON HER FAT PUERTO RICAN ASS is more like it) bloggers and entertainment columnists have wasted no time to bring out their claws and celebrate the fall of a struggling and aging diva. While I am not one to take pleasure in one's failures (unless it's someone I can't stand like Beyonce) I tend not to get happy over the flop and drop that happens to so many aging pop divas. However if the rumors are true then J-Lo is a nasty bitchy cunt who probably is getting what she deserves. BUT, I don't know the woman so I am going to stick to the facts here.

J-Lo's career is on life support because she let herself turn into shit. Plain and simple. She hasn't made a good album in years and there has only been a good single here and there since the early 00's. I remember when her debut album was released. She really was like this generations Paula Abdul. She couldn't sing to save her life but she had all the right material and dance moves to keep everyone entertained. Eleven years later "Waiting For Tonight" is still the freaking shit. But by 2003 J-Lo had left behind the fluffy and fun latin-tinged pop of her first album and now was "Jenny From The Block". Oh yes folks, the bitch was hardcore with all her guest rappers and bling. The tired rnb and faux hip-hop got old very quick and by 2005's Rebirth (or Afterbirth as I like to call it) no one care about her tired ass. Sure the Spanish album was slightly charming but considering her anorexic hubby's skeleton fingers were all over it from start to finish there wasn't much to like other than the lead single, "Que Hiciste". Jennifer's follow up tour was actually quite entertaining but her next album proved to be even more forgettable than Afterbirth. Now in the world of Gaga's, Beyonce's and Ke$ha's she tries to reinvent herself as some sort of pop supreme mistress with "Louboutins". It sounded like a horrible unsused Lady Gaga demo. Oh dear Jennifer. Please stop before you hurt yourself. oops too late, you already busted open your knee at the American Music Awards.

So I guess I couldn't stop myself from being a little catty too. It's not because I enjoy watching La Lopez flop but I get very frustrated when people ignore the signs that they need to change....or else! J-Lo chose to ignore her critics and still thinks this is 2002. Pobrecita.

Well, we will always have "Waiting For Tonight" the GLORIOUS Hex HEctor remix. That shit still sends tingles down my spine!

If I Were a Vampire

2010-02-28T12:27:00.003-05:00

So the other day I read that "Ugly Betty" was getting cancelled. I was shocked to hear this sad news. What will become of the cast? I love Vanessa Williams but if this means she will spend more time on her music "career" I am afraid we will only be getting more crappy soccer mom albums. As for the show's star, America Ferrera, how can a girl that is already homely as hell find another role as perfect as "Ugly Betty". Poor thing. Hopeful the gay nephew can land a spot on Rupaul's Drag Race. As much as I am distraught by the news, I must admit that I haven't seen an episode of Ugly Betty since the first season's Thanksgiving special. While I was in school it was simply impossible for me to find time to watch TV but now that I have somewhat of a regular 9-5 schedule and practically every TV show you can think of gets a DVD release I am re-discovering so much stuff.

"True Blood" has quickly become one of my FAVORITE shows as of late. Yes, I am about 2 years behind but I don't give a fuck. I enjoy anything with vampires.....movies, tv shows, books, etc. Surprisingly I have never been a vampire for Halloween. Perhaps because it is too cliche? I am not sure but I definitely think I would make a good one. Nevertheless there are certain vampire themed stories that are complete shit. Twilight would be the perfect example. Vampires are not meant to be made into romantic love stories. How fucking bullshit. I was hesitant at first to watch True Blood because I assumed it was another bastardization of the vampire genre however the $20 I spent at Target was not wasted and I was proved wrong! The show is witty, sexy, funny, smart and at times a little gruemsome.

I somewhat sympathize with the bad vampires of the series. If I were a vampire I wouldn't want to mainstream myself and drink synthetic blood. How boring. Sorry, but if I were to be cursed to be a creature of the night for all eternity I am going to make it fun! On a side note, was I the only one who recognized hottie Nicholas Gonzalez as the homosexual human sex slave of one of the vampires in episode two. I guess his career isn't going that well! LOL

Ball Licker

2010-02-25T23:30:00.002-05:00

When I moved to Flroida I was very eager to become acquainted with my new neighborhood and also meet new people. Well, I am not sure how successful I have been at either. Today I took a wrong turn when coming home from the Toyota dealership where I had gotten an oil change. This resulted in driving around in circles for 20 minutes trying to find a road that crossed the train tracks so I could get to the other side where I live. Thank god I was doing this in a good part of town and not the ghetto because I doubt I would have survived to write this blog entry otherwise. As far as meeting new people....well I shouldn't totally complain. I would have to say I have met 3 new friends. They are nice people and actually fun to hang out with. Unfortunately there has been a plethora of FUCKING WEIRDOS and ASSHOLES that have surprised me along the way.

1. Mr. Miami - So I met a cute boy who recently relocated from Miami Beach. It's not like that is such a big move. Miami is only an hour away but when you are unemployed and have no job I guess that is a big deal. I could tell this boy was only interested in a "physical" relationship, which is fine. He was very direct and honest unlike some people I knew in Chicago who I suspected only pretended to be my friend as they secretly waited for a chance to do something "physical". Anyhoo, this boy had more issues than Newsweek and apparently this included a need to be rude an obnoxious. He flat out asked me if he could use my apartment to fuck other guys. In return he would allow me to lick his balls. Wow. Talk about a deal I just couldn't refuse! NOT! How does one respond to such a propostion? One doesn't. He was deleted from my phone immediately. Goodbye!

2. Mr. Butterface - This guy I never met in person, THANK GOD! We only chatted online here and there. He claimed to be a personal trainer and physical therapist that specialized in sports medicine. I figured with the fitness and healthcare aspect in common, we might become good friends. Well, I should have known to block him immediately when he started telling me that he had forwarded my profile to some strange guy in Fort Lauderdale because he was a pharmacist too. You know, all pharmacists want to fuck eachother so it makes perfect sense! I stopped conversing with this weirdo for a few weeks when he randomly messaged me again. He now had more pictures in his profile that were either fake or really photoshopped to the extreme. He started talking about being a pharmacist as if he forgot that he had originally told me he was a fitness trainer. Between the fake pictures and career discrepancy I decided it was time to block him. Thank god I avoided meeting that train wreck in person!

3. Mr. Personality Remember the song by Gillette, Mr Personality? Well this sums up quite nicely some scary ass motherfucker who had an online profile bragging how he does drugs and practices unsafe sex. He propostioned me online and when I politely turned him down he sent me a nice little message about how ugly and gross I am. What a swell guy to point that out! Anyhoo, this guy looked like Shrek so I am not sure who he thought he was!

Meeting people online is so easy and actually quite practical in todays world, whether it be for friends or romance. However I think I have had my fill of the Adam4Adam freaks and will be taking a little break. Besides, I would rather spend the time hanging out with the people i did befriend for real.

Updates

2010-02-20T21:26:00.003-05:00

There has been a reson for the lack of updates........and it has nothing to do with crazy new life events. I think my blog has suffered from the "new time slot" epidemic that has killed many TV shows in the past. You know, I thought it was a good idea to relocate my blog and create a brand new template for my brand new life in Florida but I think the plan backfired! LOL. I have also been skimping on the posts simply because I have been busy with work. I am only working 40 hours a week for the moment but I work 10 hour shifts. So once I get home I only have time for the gym and dinner before it is time to go to bed. I need at least 6-7 hours of sleep each night so I am always in bed by midnight. Therefore there has been little time to blog. Don't ask me what the hell I do on my days off LOL> It seems that I have so much catching up to do that I barely get a chance to sit down at the computer. I also find more and more of my internet time on Facebook. I do belive that has become officially the BEST way to keep up with friends and loved one....near and far! Actually, I think some of my friends spend a little too much time on Facebook but I am not one to judge. I probably spend too much time scouring porn sites. SOOOOOO.......

This week I will be blogging about the following topics because I need to spice things up a bit around here, even if I suspect most of my friends have abandoned my blog (or never made the transition to the new one!)

1. The odd characters of Southern Florida: Wow, I have met some odd balls in my life but I forget how MANY weirdos there are on this planet!

2. SEX!!!!!! I haven't been quite as busy as the good ol' days in Chicago but there has been plenty of good and bad sex adventures that I think anyone could find amusing.

3. Music! Lord knows I have bought a zillion cd's in the past few months. It's about time I blog about them

4. I will forever be behind when it comes to television but I am hooked on several popular DVD collections and I finally have the time to watch them!

Ok this week will be a busy one....in real life and my blog life!

Blizzard

2010-02-10T18:43:00.002-05:00

I was a little annoyed today that my lunch break wasn't as nice as it usually is. I usually sit outside and eat all of my low-carb goodies and enjoy the warm Florida climate (I still get giddy over the fact I can wear shorts in February) but today I was a little annoyed by the fact that it was in the 60's. That's rather chilly for Southern Florida! However I am thanking the heavens that I am not in Chicago to experience the 12 inches of snow they just got! It was the last two winters that really did it for me so I can't imagine things being even worse.

Othr than that I have been busy these past few days. I successfully avoided the Superbowl crowds. I swear, every year this Superbowl crap takes me by surprise. It's like I forgot what day Christmas is on and all of the sudden it's December 25th and the streets are empty and everyone is at home celebrating. I don't understand. Even some of my gay friends who I had no idea even knew what football is got excited. I'm sorry, I don't pretend to know about this shit just to fit in. I have no idea stil who the hell was even playing or who won......cuz who cares! I say give me some information I can use....like the size of Mario Lopez's cock. Now that is something I want to know!

How have I been busy? Well, I have started work on various projects...personal projects to expedite some of the short term and long term goals I have (I blogged about those recently). So far things are looking like they are falling into place but I will refrain from sharing too many details so I don't jinx myself.

Bubble Boy

2010-01-29T18:16:00.002-05:00

The lack of updates has been unintentional. This working full-time bullshit sucks! LOL. Thank god I am loving my new job. I am approaching the 90 day mark very quickly and I am praying I don't fuck things up. So far so good. The first phase of my training is completed and I have been flying solo for the most part. This job is more than I could have ever imagined. I am glad I didn't follow my original plans to complete post-graduate training. it would have been a complete waste of time!

Moving on........I have been meeting some really nice people down here. The gay scene is absolutely tragic in West Palm Beach but now that the freakish cold spell has finally left Florida I will be more motivated to drive to Fort Lauderdale and Miami for social activities. This weekend I am off and the weather is absolutely gorgeous. the sunshine really does put on in a pleasant mood. Even the psychopath drivers couldn't piss me off today :)

As for the title of my post, it is something that occured to me at the gym today as I was wondering around the equipment and hot boys listening to my iPod. As I gorw older I find myself more and more living in my own little world. I don't like to be the center of attention. A few years back when I did the whole Gay Chicago Socialite thing I became a bit of a "celebrity" and the one thing I learned is that I missed the anonymynity I had before doing all of the clubs, parties, festivals, etc. I think I prefer being that guy who is off to the corner just observing. I like the fact if people don't know who I am or what my deal is because the brave few that dare to find out what's going on in my bubble are generally the ones worth getting to know. Being too popular makes you vulnerable to being too accessible and I have learned that usually isn't a good thing.

So I shall retreat back to my bubble but not before I leave you with the Moenia and Maria jose duet from Moenia latest cash-in live album (wtf, they did a live album just 4 years ago!).

Technology and Lost Friends

2010-01-17T09:08:00.000-05:00

The other day I was at the gym when I saw a middle aged obese black woman walking around with a Disc-man. I was surpised to see that in the day and age of iPods and the various mp3 player knock offs that someone would still bring a disc man to the gym as their preferred form of protable music. I pitied that woman and the people around her that have to put up with someone so out of touch with modern technology.

This also made me realize how I have lost friends over the years due to their reluctance to embrace technology. For example, I had a friend in Chicago that for the longest time was only able to be reached on his HOME telephone. Remember land lines? Well it wasn't until 2005 that he finally decided to get a cell phone. That purchase temporarily saved our friendship because I had just about given up trying to make plans with him but never being able to get a hold of him. Unfortunately that short lived revival in our friendship came to an end when he refused to add texting to his phone plan. Who the fuck doesn't have texting capabilities now a days????? I text more than I talk! Combine that with the fact that in 2009 this boy still had no computer or internet access (I communicate via my blog and Facebook just as much as the phone) and it's safe to say that our friendship kind of fizzled out....except with the lack of communication it never was made official. This friend was truly lost to his inability to adapt to the modern world I am living in. He probably doesn't even know I don't live in Chicago anymore!

Such a shame. We lose friends for all sorts of reasons but I think the technology excuse is one we often overlook. I will jump on whatever technology bandwagon comes my way if it means maintaining a social life!

Chilly Chicago Curse

2010-01-10T16:17:00.002-05:00

For the most part the United States is in the middle of a record breaking cold front. This cold front has even pushed its way down to sunny Florida. I am convinced that this is no coincidence that the winter I move to Florida is the winter the state experiences the coldest temperatures since 1977! WTF??!!!! I guess the Weather Gods didn't want to let me escape Chicago's chilly winters so easily. This entire week has almost made me feel like I never moved. Thank god I didn't get rid of any of my coats. I sure needed one last night when the low temperature was 35 fucking degress. This is crazy. Two weeks ago it was 80. Anyhoo, by Thursday it will be back to 70 degrees and I cannot wait. I want to go to the beach finally!

Other than battling the chilly weather, I have not been up to much. I FINALLY went out and explored West Palm night life. It was just as tragic and trashy and I expected but I did meet a few new people and I actually had a shitfacedfun time with a new friend that I met shortly after moving down here. Saturday night I celebrated a co-worker's birthday at a sushi bar. They pressured me into trying some sushi and I almost threw up but I didn't want to be a poor sport. Afterwards we went bowling and let me just say it was quite sad that the drunken birthday girl could bowl a better score than me. At midnight I left my coworkers and met another new friend at a straight night club here in downtown West Palm Beach. I don't mind straight clubs but from my experiences in Chicago they usually suck. To my surprise this place was actually really good. The music was probably even better than what I heard at the gay bar. The best moment of the night was when the DJ played Kelly Rowland "When Love Takes Over". My mouth dropped to the floor when I saw all the drunk straight boys suddenly flip out, throw their hands in the air and had a major diva moment on the dancefloor singing along. HILARIOUS! LOL!!!!

2010 Resolutuons!

2010-01-03T20:45:00.002-05:00

Last year I didn't make any resolutions but I did create a list of things I wanted to do before I left Chicago. I didn't really get through that entire list but here's hoping that I can accomplish all of my 2010 resolutions! Nothing too complicated this year but there are a few things I want to do.

1. Enroll in classes the Berlitz School of Language in Boca Raton. I can fine tune my Spanish and start learning Portuguese finally!

2. Healthy cooking! Yes I am going to attempt to prepare more of my own meals to always ensure I am eating healthy. Low salt and low carb all the way. I feel fat in Florida amonst all of these underwear models! lol

3. Bye bye credit card debt. I am getting rid of this shit once and for all!

4. A second job...not for the money but to gain the experience of working in pharmacy outside of a hospital. I'm happy with just one weekend a month doing something completely different from my full time gig.

5. Travel! I am already planning trips to Chicago, Cancun, NYC....maybe even Toronto but I want to try something completely different this year....maybe Europe? Now that I am so close to the Carribean even a weekend trip to Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republic sounds fun!

"Where are my keys? I lost my phone!"

2010-01-03T13:36:00.000-05:00

Today's post is inspired by Lady Gaga's ode to getting shit faced at the club. This is partly due to the fact that she was in Miami last night in concert (and of the few friends I have down here they were all at the concert! Guess who stayed home? LOL). I also had a revelation. Despite the fact that I have had many shit faced moments in my life, I have never lost my keys, phone or wallet. I may have lost my dignity on several occasions but morals are for pussies if you ask me.

To give an idea of how amazing it is that I after 11 years of drinking I can still manage to make it home safe and sound with all of my personal belongings I must tell the story of the last time I got so wasted that I am shocked I didn't get raped. It was last summer in Chicago. I went out with one of my homegirls who apparently was VERY good friends with one of the bar owners and we kept getting free Goldshlager shots. At 2am I found myself stumbling down the street and eventually sitting next to a light post outside of the neighborhood bathhouse watching the night time sky SPIN like I have never seen before. Being the class act that I am I decided it would be tacky to start puking on the sidewalk so I snuck into the bathhouse via the exit door and found my way to the bathroom where I had the best abdominal work out of my life. Even Paula Abdul would have been impressed by my heaving skills.

Once I was done praying to the bathhouse porcelain throne I managed to walk home. The next morning I woke up fully dressed with my shoes still on.....and surprised that despite the hot mess I was the night before my cell phone, wallet and keys were still in my pockets. Now that is a skill that even the talented Lady Gaga wishes she had!

Worst of 2009

2010-01-01T01:53:00.002-05:00

These albums made me and baby Jesus cry :( I meant to post this before the new year but it seems like I have been so busy....doing what iam not quite sure but here is my list nevertheless of the albums that were auditory insults to the world of music in 2009.

1. Kristine W - The Power Of Music: The faux-rock/pop opening tracking featuring has-been rapper Big Daddy Kane is the first indication that this club diva has lost her way on the dancefloor and stmbled upon a crystal meth induced tragic tranny orgy in the bathroom. Kristine W, the US "Queen of Clubs" has always been the underdog in the music industry. She posesses an amazing voice and has a live performance that simply stuns. Her previous albums have had mixed reactions from fans but they always managed to keep her at the top of her club-smart and dance-saavy game. This album is really just about the power of shitty production, shitty songs and shitty covers of songs that really don't need to be covered. Kristine W will no doubt evacuate the dancefloor (and not in a classy Cascada way) with these horrid tunes.

2. Mariah Carey - Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel: Well she at least got the "imperfect" part right. Little can be said of this album because the songs simply are so forgettable. Mimi's whispering as she covers the Foreigner 80's power ballar "I Want To Know What Love Is" is wisely saved for the end of this tragic affair because most listeners will have fallen asleep before getting to hear her rape this classic. If Mariah continues with watered down "Emanicaption of Mimi" demos I am afraid there won't be anymore memoirs to add to her career!

3. Paulina Rubio - Gran City Pop: Well, the cover artwork is probably the best that she has had in years but unfortunately Paulina Rubio's latest offering is just more of the same lite-pop rock with the occasional faggy dance track and a "ranchera" inspired pop song. Maybe Paulina will resume her coke addiction for her next album and come out with something that sounds a bit more interesting that a funeral wake soundtrack.

4. Thalia - Primera Fila: Seriously, why does this woman bother anymore? It's a sad day when even Fey can talk trash about you in a national Mexican entertainment magazine and no one can argue because it is the truth. Thalia's musical releases were once celebrations throught out Latin American. Now her Lyme disease infected ass can barely get people to look twice. After the flop "Lunada" Thalia decided to record a live album.....of all new material. I give her props for the unique concept but considering the new material just sounds like boring acoustic versions of the turds she has been shitting out since 2002 I don't think there is much to brag about here.

Rise of the Machines

2009-12-28T17:58:00.002-05:00

Apparently modern technology has decided to destroy me......or at least make my life very difficult! A few days ago my trusty Norelco electric razor died...well, actually I dropped it so I guess you could say I killed it. It was an accident really. It was razor-slaughter!

Anyhoo, I forked out $130 for a new one at Target (YES FERNANDO, THAT WAS THE SALE PRICE YOU SO OBNOXIOUSLY MENTIONED INSTEAD OF FEELING SORRY FOR ME). and it works like shit. Maybe I just need to break it in? Electric razors aren't know for the giving the closest shaves. However my delicate facial skin simply cannot tolerate a real razor. I shall make do.

Another electronic tragedy occured when my PDA smart phone mysteriously stopped working late Sunday afternoon. I had to scramble to find a place that was still open to remedy this situation. Thank god for Best Buy! I had to get a cheapie regular phone for now until I find a PDA replacement (that won't cost me $500). I know it all sounds silly but I actually used my PDA phone alot for work.

Let's hope nothing else breaks down this week! My DVD player was skipping the other night.......uh oh.....

Homesick

2009-12-26T12:33:00.002-05:00

I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing but I have been very homesick the past few weeks. I really do miss Chicago. I envy people who can leave behind their countries to come to the US because I can barely stand moving from one city to another. Honestly, the only thing that comforts me is that I know this is a natural and normal feeling. There would probably be something wrong with me if I didn't miss Chicago. I also have to remind myself of the three very obvious things whenever I start to wish I could have a slice of Nancy's stuffed pizza, go out to Sidetrash with my Milwaukee Sister and have Blue Motherfuckers or just be a Chicago Socialite walking down Halsted St in my fiercest Diesel Jeans.

1. I had no job in Chicago, LOL. It doesn't make sense to think about "what if" I had stayed if I would have been homeless and unemployed!

2. The weather. Ugh. Every morning when I get ready for work I turn on the weather channel. Winter has barely begun and the Midwest has been dumped with tons of snow and bone chilling weather. I can't imagine having an even longer commute to work in Chicago had I stayed living there. What a nightmare! And to think the really cold wether is yet to come!

3. Nothing would be different. A good friend of mine (who has lived all over the world and can speak from experience!) reassured me that you can't keep going back to the same thing expcecting different results. Sadly, there were many situations and relationships that I had grown very frustrated with and they would still be that way even if I had stayed. They wouldn't have miraculously changed for the better.

I guess now that I have sat down and reasoned all of this I realize I am not necessarily homesick. It's part of the problem but the real problem is that I am finally ready for the world but it isn't going to just knock on my door and come inside....well unless I post a sleazy ad on Craigslist. I need t otake the initiative to go out and grab the world by the balls and say "hey you....I know I've been busy these past 5 years but I am ready now for everything you have to offer!"

Because I really am ready.

Best of 2009!

2009-12-25T18:03:00.001-05:00

1. Nadia Ali - Embers
I suspect Nadia Ali titled her album "Embers" because she hoped that each song would continue to burn long after the flame of each song faded. Nadia definitely succeeds on her first solo album. Although she gained popularity primarily as part of the dance act iio, one cannot really categorize "Embers" as a dance album. There are some stunning ballads as well as upbeat pop numbers that utilize a exquisite balance of synthesizers and guitars. What truly makes this album a gem is Nadia's lyrical honesty. Nadia bares her soul and at many times shows the listener just how flawed and vulnerable she percieves herself to be. Vulnerabilty isn't a trait most people like to discuss but Nadia doesn't hold back. Whether she is singing about a love destined to 'crash and burn' or the empty "promises" that remain after a failed relationship, her frank and sincere delivery in each song is mesmerizing.

2. Whitney Houston - I Look To You
Don't call it a comeback because she's been here for years. Unfortunately the past 7 years we have seen Ms. Houston fight a very public battle with drugs and a messy divorce. This album marked her return to the recording studio. Instead of trying to reinvent herself or go over the top, "I Look To You" picks up where Whitney Houston last left off and serves as a request to her fans that they love her like she "never left". Whitney's voice (yes it sounds different but not as bad as the critics want you to believe because she still can outsing any other "diva" out right now) soars over the opening track "Million Dollar Bill". Whitney continues to shine during most of the upbeat songs, which is odd considering her biggest hits of the 80's were mostly ballads. Even the unlikely duet with Akon comes off very natural and endearing. There is nothing contrived or calculated about this album. From start to finish it truly does sound like she never left!

3. Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster
I usually need a month or two to really know if an album is shit or a masterpiece. Some albums can surprise me and end up being "growers". Lady Gaga's "Fame Monster" was released just in time for the holidays. Technically it is a new album but it was originally meant to be an expanded edition of her debut album. Either way, Lady Gaga was the "it" girl of pop music this past year......and rightfully so! Whether you love her or think she is an overrated anorexic white girl with bad taste in clothing, you cannot deny the popularity of her music. Not in recent times has a female singer been able to so flawless merge the underground NYC club life with a sense of modern mainstream pop. Her vocal abilities are amazing too as she has proven in numerous live events. Lady Gaga's 'fame' right now is a very welcome additon to my music collection. Pulsating dance grooves with some pop saavy lyrics make her music an addiction.

4. Wisin Y Yandel - La Revolucion
Never in a million years did I think I would one day be praising the likes of a duo like Wisin Y Yandel. A few years ago reggaeton became such a popular genre that even mainstream Top 40 english radio stations were eager to play new tracks by its most popular artists. Like every other fad, reggaeton had an expiration date that was coming up, but instead of letting the sound fade into obscurity, the major players began experimenting with new sounds to create a sort of pop-reggaeton-urban hybrid. Wisin Y Yandel have been the leaders of the pack and this album was surprisingly good. Once I got past the repetitive lyrics and horrible use of spanglish, I found myself listening to a rather fun party album!

5. Miranda! - Es Imposible
The Argentinean super pop group seemed to be losing its steam after its last album. A rushed greatest hits collection screamed "damage control" but they went back to basics and created a solid and enjoyable pop-rock with album. Less time is spent creating glitzy glam rock so more time can be devoted to good music and that unmistakeble Argentinean accent! Best song is "Mentia"!

6. Fey - Dulce Tentatcion/Sweet Temptation
Mexican pop singer Fey has become quite the comeback queen over the years with more ups and downs than a Motel 6 box spring on the weekend. Not only does Fey rise from the ashes of her past flop album but she manages to exceed expectations creating one of the most anticipated and critically acclaimed latin dance pop albums of the year. Fey has done her homework and manages to take the best of Kylie Minogue, Madonna, Britney and Lady Gaga to create a poptastic explosion of dancefloor gems and electropop heaven! What's even better is Fey's ability to exude a certain amount of sassiness that was missing from previous albums (La Viuda Negra, Provocame).

7. Nelly Furtado - Mi Plan
Hate her or like her, Nelly Furtado is never one to rehash her old songs for the sake of having a hit. Each album she releases is distinctly different from the previous and this time she tackles a foreign language. Nelly began to dabble with Spanish when she sang a duet with Juanes in 2002. Since then she has recorded several spanish versions of her songs and been featured on several latin pop hits (her appearance with Wisin Y Yandel on "Sexy Movimiento" is FIERCE!) but this album is all about Nelly and her genunine love for the spanish language. Granted half of the tracks feature other artists but it creates a very friendly and welcoming feel. That and Nelly's imperfect Spanish pronunciation make this album so likeable. Musically the album creates a nice balance between her folkloric material from "Folklore" and her more modern urban works with Timbaland.

8. Pitbull - Rebelution
Yes, that's right. Pitbull. Perhaps this was my guiltiest pleasure of the year (even more so than Wisin Y Yandel) but I have been a long time fan of Pitbull. Since his first Top 40 hit "Culo", I have always enjoyed his Miami party bass sound. Lyrically he never strays too far from talking about sex and women, this album is no exception, but he does it all with a sense of humor that you can't find with most rappers. He is a horndog and has no shame. It's ok though because the club anthems like "I Know You Want Me", "Shut It Down" and "Hotel Motel" make you forget Mr. Pitbull's raunchy side!

9. Mary J Blige - Stronger With Each Tear
Ok, so this album was just released last week, but it seems like Mary has released her past three albums during the holiday season. They all went on to be big favorites of mine so this time I am going to give her the attention she deserves. The Queen of Hip Hop Soul continues her 18 year reign with one of her most stunning and stellar albums yet. Mary isn't afraind to bare her soul and share her pain...and joy. Funky retro tunes (Good Love), amazing ballads (In The Morning) and future hip-pop classics (I Feel Good) adorn this collection.

Dora The Explorer

2009-12-20T21:09:00.002-05:00

Well, I have been out and about this week further exploring West Palm Beach and the surrounding areas. The weather was kind of crappy this week so I was rather limited to what I could do. It rained four days in a row and this weekend it was chilly (in the 60's....that's cold for Florida!). I shouldn't complain though since the rest of the country appears to be buried under 10 feet of snow. Fortunately the only snow you find in Florida is the kind the party bois snort up their nose in the disco bathrooms! LOL

So, as I was saying, on Saturday I finally drove to "the island". That is how people around here refer to Palm Beach and now I understand why it refered to in such a mysteriously elite way. It is a two minute drive across the bay and is where the beaches are. It's also where the really RICH and famous people live. I wanted to do a little shopping but I couldn't afford half of the stores. Seriously, this shopping district was straight out of a movie.I honestly felt like a homeless person trying to get some stuff with stolen food stamps walking through this area. Fortunately I found a Neiman Marcus so I was able pretend I was a millionaire for a few hours at least. Also, I never saw so many old rich white women with really bad facelifts in my life. Even Madonna and Cher would have been horrified by all the bad plastic surgery.

I still haven't investigated West Palm Beach's night life. It seems like every weekend I end up in Fort Lauderdale or Miami. Last night was no exception as I went to Score with my Miami Fairy Godmother. Thank god he let me crash at his place because there was no way I could have driven home after the drinks we had. Today I met up with a new friend and then went driving down Okeechobee Ave. I live in the downtown area of West Palm so almost everything is within walking distance but Florida in general is very suburban and you can't get by without a car and Okeechobee is the main strip for me to get to the highway and to my gym. I was curious to check out an adult video store since I have been eager to make my first Florida porn purchase. Much to my dismay I stumbled upon the scariest porn shop in the word. I almost didn't even see it. There were no windows or signs.....except for the handwritten scribble on cardboard taped to the front door that said "DVD's 3 for 20".

Once inside (yes I was dumb enough to enter) I suddnely felt like I was in the attic of a convicted child molestor who didn't know what to do with his excessive porn collection. The selection of gay videos was mostly limited to barely legal barebacking Yugoslavian twinks. Ugh. The placed smelled of dry cum and bread mold. Needless to say I was I didn't buy anything and I was out in 2 minutes. I then did grocery shopping and now find myself at home enjoying a quiet night alone. I have the day off tomorrow since I am working the holiday so I am sure I will put on my Dora the Explorer hat and venture out again!

Best Songs of 2009

2009-12-18T00:40:00.000-05:00

For whatever reason, mainstream Top 40 music hasn't been this good since the early 90's! Thank God (or should I say Thank GaGa?) for the pop/dance music revival of 2008/2009. Of course, there were a few songs that were released this year that didn't fall into this genre but here are my 9 favorites of 2009

1. Jay Sean - Down
Ok, so this guy is hot. You don't even need to see him shirtless to realize it (although his sculpted rock hard body is a visual I enjoy seeing every chance I get!). I would have Jay's butt babies in a heart beat but I let me focus on the song at hand.....which is fucking incredible. It's an upbeat pop anthem with enough street credibility to please all ages and crowds. It's no wonder the song ended up at #1 this Fall. Extra points go to Jay's ability to sing falsetto without sounding like a whiny girl on her period (I'm looking at you Justin Timberlake!). Let's hope Jay has a long and prosperous musical career ahead of him. A gay porn or two wouldn't hurt either.

2. Nadia Ali - Love Story
Former iiO lead singer ditches the dorky white DJ and finally creates music that her fans want to hear! Her voice is lovely and at times quite hyponotic on this mellow pop/dance track. The video for the song is a low budget affair but somehow manages to compliment Nadia's lyrics and melody quite well. Even nicer were the various remixes commissioned for the song that made the song more club friendly. The love story here is that I loved this song this year!

3. David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland - When Love Takes Over
I have been patiently waiting for Kelly Rowland's moment to outshine Beyonce and I think it finally came. Despite her continued lack of US support, this song was a worldwide #1 smash hit. Now that Kelly has escaped the clutches of the evil Knowles clan she doesn't have to hold back on the over-the-top diva vocals nor the fierce runway fashions she sports in the video to show off that sickening figure! Beyonce's Thunder Thighs of Terror were no doubt rumbling with envy seeing Kelly finally not looking like a welfare lesbian. Kelly took over indeed now let's hope she can duplicate this success with a follow-up album!

4. Shakira - She Wolf/Loba
At first listen it seems like Shakira is bandwagon jumping again like she did back in 2006 with "Hips Don't Lie" BUT one listen to the lyrics and you know this is not the case. Stop abusing your office's coffee machine and check out Shakira in heat! She howls like a wolf (literally) and her gyrating dance and cooter splitting dance moves in the video will leave even a gay man panting for breath. Shakira's lycanthropy was a welcome addition to any party this year! Just make she's house trained before inviting her to any social events.

5. Whitney Houston - Million Dollar Bill
Even if you are unemployed with a pocketful of food stamps, this song will make you feel like a million dollar bill. Whitney has risen from the ashes of her drug addiction and public melt down to come back with one of the BEST songs of her career. True Whitney fans will identify this as being this generation's "My Name Is Not Susan". Million Dollar Bill is a spunky, feisty and soulful throw back to 70's disco without sounding desperate or contrived.

6. Luis Enrique - Yo No Se Mañana
Ok, salsa is one of the most monotonous genres of Latin music. So for one song to have so much success and crossover to pop is quite amazing. When you also consider Luis Enrique's career was assumed to have been over since the 90's, it makes the success of this song even more extraordinary. EVERY station down here in southern Florida play this song constantly so for me it was a bit of a welcoming soundtrack moving down here.

7. Carlos Baute & Marta Sanchez - Colgando En Tus Manos
This is another Latin odditiy. Carlos Baute has always been the poor man's Ricky Martin, which is understandable since he looks like a bleached blonde frog. Marta Sanchez, while an amazing vocalist and treasured Spanish diva, hasn't had a hit outside of her native Spain since the 90's. Out of nowhere the two of them teamed up and re-released this song as a duet from Carlos's 2008 album. Suddenly the two of them are posing half naked and have a hit all throughout Latin America. Go figure. Anyhoo, I think the duet works and I have been a fan of Marta Sanchez since highschool so picking this as one of my favorites was a no brainer!

8. Fey - Lentamente
Fey has always been the little pop star that could...or couldn't. Despite a career full of ups and very big downs, Fey released this poptastic track on her own record label. Some might criticize her for being a little too inspired by Kylie Minogue, BUT I say good for Fey. She did her homework and did it well!

9. Lily Allen - Fuck You
I tend to get really annoyed by all of these critically acclaimed "it" girls. I refuse to even listen to a Duffy or Amy Whinehouse record but one day I accidentally stumbled across this on youtube. Cute beyond belief! I decided to finally give Lily Allen a chance and was surprised that her music wasn't as dreadful as I had thought. "Fuck You" is by far her best. Despite it's title it is actually quite cheerful and puts a smile on my face every time I listen to it!

iPapi

2009-12-14T00:07:00.000-05:00

It occured to me the other day that I own alot of underwear. I have all sorts of colors and styles but I tend to stick with just a few select brands. My preference of brands is for the most part due to comfort and variety of colors and styles. I honestly think I own too much underwear. I probably have a pair for every day of the week for the next two months. It's actually quite ridiculous but I admit that I am a victim of underwear advertising. Men's underwear companies probably have the easiest time marketing their product to gay men. I mean, gay men probably make up the bulk of sales, not because straight men don't buy underwear but sex sells and who do you think is going to fall for an advertising campaign that consists of nothing but muscular and well endowed men wearing nothing but a pair of bikini briefs? I think I get a semi-boner almost everytime I am in the underwear department. The Papi brand has been my latest obsession. They have these super cute and comfy hipster boy shorts that fit geniously underneath low cut jeans. They are like a hybrid between briefs and boxer briefs. The company has also been heavily promoting themselves at Macy's all over with uber-homoerotic advertising (mannequins in underwear and angel wings????).

So I salute all of the underwear companies out there today that so brilliantly convince me to spend my hard earned money on overpriced undergarments that for the most part no one ever sees!

All I Wanna Do

2009-12-13T21:09:00.000-05:00

Although Dannii Minogue frustrates me with her continued lack of new output, I must say I still adore this woman and the fact that after all of these years she doesn't mind poking fun at herself!

Home

2009-12-06T14:43:00.000-05:00

This past summer the Pope of Pop, La Toya Jackson, recorded this cinematic masterpiece in honor of her beloved brother. Much like Toy, I too have officially been missing my old home! While I have managed to find the nearest Target, Taco Bell and 24 hour Walgreens (all absolute necessities!) I have discovered this week that there is one thing that Google Maps can't find for me just yet.......my comfort zone. No I am not referring to the 1991 Vanessa William's album but instead a place where I can go to when I am having a bad day. On Thursday I made a mistake at work and while it really wasn't that big of a deal, both the pharmacy manager and director pulled me into their office along with the other people involved. Shit happens I guess but since I am the "newbie" and am on a 90-day probationary period I was actually very concerned by all of this. Had this happened in Chicago I would have come home and either pigged out at Nancy's Pizza (oh how I miss that stuffed spinach pizza!) or I would have had some cocktails at Sidetrash as I always was sure to run into a bartender I knew or a friend. Alas, none of these are options in my new city. So my lousy day simply spiraled out of control and I went to bed feeling quite depressed. Fortunately I had the following day off. I kept myself busy getting my new driver's license and starting the process of registering my car in Florida (which is apparently going to be complicated!). Last night I finally hung out with a friend from Fort Lauderdale and we went to downtown Miami's hot spot, Discotekka! Wow I hadn't danced that much since......well, the week before when I was at Space! LOL. I guess I can't complain that much afterall!

Lube Applicator?????

2009-11-29T16:34:00.000-05:00

As if sex wasn't awkward enough now they have invented something to make things even more complicated.....

So while you fumble with a condom in the darkness (only to realize it won't go on because it's inside out) or if the bottle slips out of your hand and rolls under the bed you can now fuck around with an overpriced plastic syringe to help make your next sexual experience more erotic than a Rosie Odonnell sex tape. I'm going to order 10!

Battling Pee Shyness: A Novel Approach

2009-11-28T23:44:00.000-05:00

I have battled pee-shyness since I was big enough to reach a urinal. For the most part I am able to pee in public now but there are still those moments when my bladder won't empty no matter how hard I try to pretend that no one else is around. However, last night I think I discovered a novel approach to overcome even the worst pee-shy scenarios.

Last night (or earlier today if you consider we didn't leave the club until 7:30AM!) I was attending my first big party/club event in downtown Miami since having moved down here. I was accompanied by my Miami Fairy Godmother and Leo. I will save details of the party and night for a separate post because what happened in the bathroom totally deserves to be written about all by itself! The parties in Miami tend to be one extreme to the next. From the muscled men, to the ridiculously strong drinks, to the drugs, to the dancing until the morning light.....and to the unapologetic cruising in the bathrooms. After three drinks it was time for me to break the seal. Unfortunately I found myself standing at a urinal next to a gentleman who was pleasuring himself instead of urinating. I tried to pretend I didn't notice all of the jerking movements from the corner of my eye. I also tried to ignore him as he started mumbling his appreciation for my genetalia and some of the obscene things he wanted to do with it. I really had to pee sooooo bad that I finally turned to him exposing myself to him and said "Here it is. Touch it, grab it, or poke it if you like but PLEASE do you think you could step away from the urinals for just 5 minutes so I can take a piss? I am extremely pee shy and cannot go with you jerking off like this right next to me."

The man looked a little startled....then puzzled. He zipped up his pants and said "Sure no problem man. Sorry." and walked away. I proceeded to pee and wondered why I never handled my pee shyness like this before. From now on I will request that all strangers exit the public bathrooom once I enter. It makes perfect sense!

He'll forgive and forget if I say I'll never go.

2009-11-23T23:34:00.000-05:00

Recently after a 15 year love affair with Mario Lopez I was forced to break up with him due to my new love interest, Jay Sean. Well, Mario was determined to win me back and followed my down to Miami. I guess Kylie Minogue does know what they say.....better the devil you know! Sorry Jay, I guess you were just a fling. Mario still owns my heart!

Freezing

2009-11-23T23:17:00.000-05:00

During an impulsive moment prior to moving to Florida I almost got rid of all of my jackets and coats. I thought such a defiant act would liberate me once and for all from the cold winters of the midwest. I decided against doing such a ridiculous thing because I have spent way too much money on my fierce Diesel and Energie leather jackets. Also there is that possibilty I might travel north one day during the winter and will desperately need a jacket. I am now discovering another reason to be grateful that I didn't get rid of jackets.....or sweaters for that matter. The buildings down here set their air conditioning to "ARTIC". It was so cold during orientation at my new job last week that someone actually stole some blankets from the nursery. The temperatures in the rest of the hospital aren't much warmer either. Restaurants, stores and government buildings are just as bad. Right now the night time temperature is in the mid-60's yet I can hear the buzz of air conditioners outside coming from my neighbors. I have my patio door open and am enjoying the cool breeze. In fact, I think I have used the AC once. The average high right now is only 85 degrees. I am sure I will be singing a different story once the 110 degree summer weather arrives next year but for now I am going to keep a jacket handy for when I go shopping. Brrrrrrrr!

Here I Am

2009-11-22T18:04:00.000-05:00

Ten days after making the treacherous journey across the country I find myself finally settled in southern Florida and feeling like I am home. I am tempted to ask myself "So now what?" but I have decided this is going to be the first time in my life that I am not going to try to meticulously calculate my next move or obssess about what I need to do over the next few months. I am diving head first into this new chapter of my life with my eyes wide shut.....and my mind wide open. I am starting not only a new job but a new career. My major focus right now is going to be succeeding and exceling in my new position as a clinical pharmacist. I am sure fun and new friends will find their way into my life eventually but I am not going to get too distracted just yet.

The one thing I have decided to do is to leave behind much of my life in Chicago. What does that consist of? Well, to say I had my share of "fun" in ChiTown would be the understatement of the year. Obviously I kept a well balance between work and play because I wouldn't be here otherwise BUT the amount of "fun" I was having in Chicago became simply overwhelming. I reached a point where I felt I was no longer being approached by new people because they had a genuine interest in getting to know me but that they were simply interested in...."fun". I take full responsibilty for having allowed myself to develop such a "fun" reputation but alas, once the time came for me to leave all that behind it became very evident that it wouldn't be so simple reestablishing myself as someone new in a city where there is a 0.25 degree of separation in the homosexual community. Nevertheless I know now what I need to do to avoid repeating that down here.

I am also amazed at how GOOD everything is turning out. After just one week at my new job I can honestly say this was the best decision I have ever made. I can't believe a new graduate like myself could snag a job like this. I didn't exactly have job offers knocking down my door and the ones I did have in Illinois were not exactly ideal. It's ironic that this new job made me rethink all of the plans I had for after graduation. I was so sure I was going to take a crappy retail pharmacy job for 9 months and then do post-grad training.....but instead I ended up accepting the type of postion I was hoping to find with all of that extra training. Go figure. All I can say is that I am grateful someone was willing to give me a chance.

Apart from work and unpacking I have started the awkaward process of meeting new friends. It's hard to find the normal people in this world with so many weirdos standing in the way but I am confident that I will find my niche down here sooner than I think!

Are you ready?

2009-10-26T02:24:00.000-04:00

Feeling the funk in Southern Florida very soon.............