Saturday, December 26, 2009


I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing but I have been very homesick the past few weeks. I really do miss Chicago. I envy people who can leave behind their countries to come to the US because I can barely stand moving from one city to another. Honestly, the only thing that comforts me is that I know this is a natural and normal feeling. There would probably be something wrong with me if I didn't miss Chicago. I also have to remind myself of the three very obvious things whenever I start to wish I could have a slice of Nancy's stuffed pizza, go out to Sidetrash with my Milwaukee Sister and have Blue Motherfuckers or just be a Chicago Socialite walking down Halsted St in my fiercest Diesel Jeans.

1. I had no job in Chicago, LOL. It doesn't make sense to think about "what if" I had stayed if I would have been homeless and unemployed!

2. The weather. Ugh. Every morning when I get ready for work I turn on the weather channel. Winter has barely begun and the Midwest has been dumped with tons of snow and bone chilling weather. I can't imagine having an even longer commute to work in Chicago had I stayed living there. What a nightmare! And to think the really cold wether is yet to come!

3. Nothing would be different. A good friend of mine (who has lived all over the world and can speak from experience!) reassured me that you can't keep going back to the same thing expcecting different results. Sadly, there were many situations and relationships that I had grown very frustrated with and they would still be that way even if I had stayed. They wouldn't have miraculously changed for the better.

I guess now that I have sat down and reasoned all of this I realize I am not necessarily homesick. It's part of the problem but the real problem is that I am finally ready for the world but it isn't going to just knock on my door and come inside....well unless I post a sleazy ad on Craigslist. I need t otake the initiative to go out and grab the world by the balls and say "hey you....I know I've been busy these past 5 years but I am ready now for everything you have to offer!"

Because I really am ready.

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