Friday, January 1, 2010

Worst of 2009

These albums made me and baby Jesus cry :( I meant to post this before the new year but it seems like I have been so busy....doing what iam not quite sure but here is my list nevertheless of the albums that were auditory insults to the world of music in 2009.

1. Kristine W - The Power Of Music: The faux-rock/pop opening tracking featuring has-been rapper Big Daddy Kane is the first indication that this club diva has lost her way on the dancefloor and stmbled upon a crystal meth induced tragic tranny orgy in the bathroom. Kristine W, the US "Queen of Clubs" has always been the underdog in the music industry. She posesses an amazing voice and has a live performance that simply stuns. Her previous albums have had mixed reactions from fans but they always managed to keep her at the top of her club-smart and dance-saavy game. This album is really just about the power of shitty production, shitty songs and shitty covers of songs that really don't need to be covered. Kristine W will no doubt evacuate the dancefloor (and not in a classy Cascada way) with these horrid tunes.

2. Mariah Carey - Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel: Well she at least got the "imperfect" part right. Little can be said of this album because the songs simply are so forgettable. Mimi's whispering as she covers the Foreigner 80's power ballar "I Want To Know What Love Is" is wisely saved for the end of this tragic affair because most listeners will have fallen asleep before getting to hear her rape this classic. If Mariah continues with watered down "Emanicaption of Mimi" demos I am afraid there won't be anymore memoirs to add to her career!

3. Paulina Rubio - Gran City Pop: Well, the cover artwork is probably the best that she has had in years but unfortunately Paulina Rubio's latest offering is just more of the same lite-pop rock with the occasional faggy dance track and a "ranchera" inspired pop song. Maybe Paulina will resume her coke addiction for her next album and come out with something that sounds a bit more interesting that a funeral wake soundtrack.

4. Thalia - Primera Fila: Seriously, why does this woman bother anymore? It's a sad day when even Fey can talk trash about you in a national Mexican entertainment magazine and no one can argue because it is the truth. Thalia's musical releases were once celebrations throught out Latin American. Now her Lyme disease infected ass can barely get people to look twice. After the flop "Lunada" Thalia decided to record a live album.....of all new material. I give her props for the unique concept but considering the new material just sounds like boring acoustic versions of the turds she has been shitting out since 2002 I don't think there is much to brag about here.


  1. LOL! That Kristine W album cover was so horrid I didn't even bother buying it, and if you her biggest fan didn't even like it...well then I really can't expect much.

    Mooriah was a big turd. Agree. Paulina is stuck in a rut. Agree. Thalía is boring as f*ck. Agree 10000000000%!!!!

  2. I love half of Mariah's album (*shame*) but that could be because I just got my fat arse dumped and can indentify with the morose lyrics. The rest are shit and Kristine is utterly dire and should just pull the plug. It's a sad day when Erika Jayne puts you to shame!